


On My Mind

by God217



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Birthday gift for my friend Bea I love you!!, F/M, Happy Ending, hope you enjoy some nice feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-10-01 18:36:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20367847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/God217/pseuds/God217
Summary: It's been a while since she left the team to stay with Dr White. But she's happy now... right?Maybe she didn't make the right choice after all.But the more time passes the clearer it becomes that she's not coming back.





	On My Mind

**Part 1 - Jessie**

How long has it been?  
  
Weeks, probably. Maybe months. Time's sort of different out here, so far away from everything else.  
  
She's happy, that's what she keeps telling herself.  
  
Happy with him.  
  
A lot has changed since she met Dr. White and stayed. James and Meowth moved on, of course; she can't blame them for leaving since she told them to go. It would've been weird for them to stay here too, and besides, there was no point.  
  
She left the team. They had no reason to follow her.  
  
And now her life is... different.  
  
She has a warm bed at night. Three meals a day. The neighbors adore her; so do the Pokémon that live near the house. White's family pretty much adopted her, it's almost as if she has one of her own for the first time she can remember.  
  
And she's loved.  
  
Despite not being rich nor famous, she still hit the jackpot. She's engaged to a handsome man, a good man. What more could she possibly want?  
  
Her life is going to be perfect now.  
  
...right?  
  
It's strange.  
  
She should be happy.  
  
So why does she have to force herself to be?  
  
She's in love with this man, so what's wrong?  
  
Love at first sight can't disappoint.  
  
But something's still amiss.  
  
The nights are the worst. Not the nights themself, but waking up. Because sometimes when she wakes up, in those seconds before her consciousness catches up with being awake, she's back outside, on the hard forest ground and surrounded by cold night air.  
  
Before opening her eyes, all she can sense is that James stole her blanket again, and she's shivering, so she groggily moves her arm to take it back from him. He's right next to her as always, breathing softly, mumbling something in his sleep as her hand brushes against his shoulder.  
  
And then she remembers it's not James. And she's in a warm bed, next to her to-be husband.  
  
She should be happy about that.  
  
She's disappointed.  
  
As if she'd prefer sleeping outside, on an empty stomach and not a dime to her name.  
  
She wouldn't! That's why she left!  
  
Somehow back then it didn't quite register that leaving Team Rocket would mean leaving her friends.  
  
And sometimes she still wonders if they even miss her at all.  
  
Would she miss herself? Not likely. What good has she ever done to them? They're probably just fine.  
  
Maybe they replaced her.  
  
That thought rips on her heart like a dozen Pikachus, but she doesn't allow herself to dwell on it.  
  
She doesn't miss them.  
  
She doesn't feel.  
  
They left. They're gone. As always. And it's fine, because she has something better and she moved on.  
  
Yet... every time her fiancé kisses her good morning, every breakfast, every early feeding run for the Pokèmon... every moment of every day.  
  
She can't help but wonder.  
  
Can't help but miss them.  
  
Can't help but regret.  
  
Maybe she made a mistake.

**Part 2 - James**

Nothing's the same since Jessie left.  
  
They've made no progress at all; as hard as he and Meowth try, it's just not working with only the two of them. Maybe the boss would send them someone new, but..  
  
The boss doesn't know yet. Every call with him they just pretend like Jessie's asleep, or sick, or just away for a moment and will be back in a bit.  
  
She's not.  
  
The more time passes, the clearer it becomes that she's not coming back.  
  
At first, that's why they covered for her. In case she'd return - just so she wouldn't lose her job; so she'd always have a place to come back to. He'd promised her after all. She could always come back home.  
  
By now, they're not sure why they pretend. Maybe it's some sort of blissful hope, perhaps simply denial. They never talked about it. But he knows he'd never be able to work with anybody else but her.  
  
Simply quitting as well crossed his mind; there's not much of a point in continuing seeing as he did it all for her. He's thought about leaving before, several times, but Jessie always shut him down. So why stay now?  
  
But where else would he go? There's no place for him out there.  
  
And he couldn't bear to lose Meowth too.  
  
So he stays, continues to work on pointless plans that he knows will always fail anyway, even though there's no use in it anymore, even though he knows that he won't ever accomplish a thing like that.  
  
She's not coming back.  
  
He does wonder if she's happy back there. He stopped bringing it up to Meowth - Meowth stopped thinking about her weeks ago, and he wouldn't want to hear his musings for the thousandths time. Even James doesn't understand why he can't just let it go.  
  
Letting go was easy enough for Jessie, after all.  
  
He's not mad at her. Never was. He can't blame her for choosing happiness over a life of failure, and failure was really all he's ever had to offer her.  
  
But he misses her, and instead of fading as it should, the feeling only grows with every passing second, and slowly tears him up inside.  
  
It's fine though.  
  
It's all okay as long as she's happy.  
  
He'll just figure something out. That's one thing he's always been good at, figuring it out. When one grows up rich and spoiled and then suddenly winds up all alone on the street, it becomes essential.  
  
If only he could go back to those times. He was cold, hungry and lonely, but all he ever felt was the thrill of freedom. Looking back now, it all seemed so easy.  
  
Back when he made his promise to Jessie, he'd never expected that she'd end up being the one to leave him.  
  
Yet at the same time, he should've known it wouldn't last forever. It was nothing but a job.  
  
It might've felt like more.  
  
But it never was.  
  
And if he'd had any hope that it would be, he'd been kidding himself and nothing more.

**Part 3 - Home**

Who knows how much time has passed.  
  
Weeks, maybe. Probably months. Neither of them remembers, all they know is that it felt like an eternity.  
  
An eternity until the day when he looks back and she's there.  
  
Who knows how she found them. They've always had a sort of sense for the other's whereabouts, and even after all this time it didn't leave them.  
  
Who cares how she found them? He never asks. It's not important.  
  
The first seconds he just blanks; stares at her as if she's nothing but an illusion - he's finally lost it, great. Or he's still asleep, in a very realistic dream.  
  
Then it finally clicks, and all he can think of is that she is /there/.  
  
Why did she come back?  
  
Maybe the doctor left her. They had a fight and broke up. He found someone else. Broke her heart. She had no where else to go so she came back.  
  
He doesn't know that she left because she wanted to. He'll never know about the letter she left behind, lying on the kitchen table for White to find when he wakes up. That she finally realized where she belongs, and she's not come to them because she knows they'll take her back.  
  
She doesn't even think they'll take her back, but she's come to beg for forgiveness, even if it means giving up all of her pride.  
  
Sometimes it's worth it.  
  
But it turns out there's no need for it. It turns out that she can't even open her mouth before he runs and embraces her, holding her tighter than he ever has before, as if she'd leave again the moment he lets go.  
  
She doesn't know he fears that very thing.  
  
And he doesn't know it's the last thing she'll do, not until she hugs him back.  
  
Who knows how long they stand like that.  
  
Seconds? Minutes? Hours?  
  
Not long enough.  
  
Never enough.  
  
She never realized just how much she missed it. Missed him.  
  
It took her way too long to see that she didn't find a family that day.  
  
She always had a family.  
  
She left them.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
All of the words she's thought of, the whole speech she's planned in the hours it took her to get to them, they're gone. Disappeared just like that, as if gone with the wind, and those two words are all that's left, all she can muster up to say.  
  
They're more than enough.  
  
In years of working together, living together, sharing everything every single day of their lives...  
  
Never once did she apologize for anything.  
  
He never expected her to. He didn't expect it now either.  
  
He doesn't even want it.  
  
However long she's been gone, it doesn't matter, because she's back now and that's all he cares about.  
  
Whatever else she's trying to say after that, she can't say it, because he cuts her off with a kiss he didn't even realize he was going for until his lips already touch hers.  
  
It's not one of those fairytale kisses; anything but gentle or romantic. Her mouth was half open trying to form a word, his lips are dry and chapped and he's not even sure what he was aiming for himself, and he went in way too hard.  
  
Doesn't matter.  
  
If she's not pulling back, that's a good sign, right?  
  
If he kisses her, that means he forgives her, doesn't it?  
  
Does that mean he's missed her the same?  
  
She knew she'd made a mistake, but she never realized just how big it was.  
  
Not until it's suddenly right again.  
  
No, until it's right for the first time.  
  
Truly right.  
  
Arceus, she'd been so blind.  
  
He was always there and she just walked away. She walked away and he welcomes her back with open arms.  
  
She walked away and she came back to him, because somehow in a way he'll never understand, he's more important than her perfect doctor.  
  
Who knows what would've happened after the kiss.  
  
Someone would've said something sooner or later; they would've stared at each other's eyes until one of them broke the silence. But they'll never know.  
  
They'll never know because all of a sudden, Wobbuffet is next to them, who knows how he found them, although he most likely simply followed Jessie.  
  
And Wobbuffet is loud, and they didn't see him there, so they jump and end up in each other's arms again because that's the most natural place for them to be.

Then Meowth appears as well, because Pokémon have voices too and he'd recognize that one anywhere.  
  
And next thing they know it's a group hug, and the moment's gone.  
  
They'll probably talk about it later.  
  
Or maybe they won't need to, because they never need to talk about the important things. They know.  
  
What does it matter anyway?  
  
Nobody cares.  
  
She's home.  
  
And no matter what happens next, this is where she'll always belong.  
  
It just took her a bit too long to understand.  
  
They both understand it now.  
  
At least they're learning to.


End file.
